I'm Wilma. Girl. No dragon tattoo. I love theatre, fashion, music that makes me orgasm and taking pictures. I have split myself between three places (London-Stockholm-Tallinn), but my current hub is Tallinn. Wherever my circus goes, there's always a party. If the party does end, I watch cat videos and blog about it all. Check out my yearly summaries below to get to know me a bit better. Header: Mandel Photography

If you have any questions: hemafruu@gmail.com.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Busy bees catching honey.

The story how I started at Must Puudel, yet ended at club Hollywood dancing to Linkin Park. 
Success level - Viive 46.


Basically my colleagues and I were celebrating one year anniversary. The temporary summer job idea has reached the dizzy heights for me. Like one night stand evolves into serious relationship. Who would have known?

The Queen Bee of my department and I.


Rapunzel never tells the secret about her hair: 


The party organisers are threatening us "To have fun, or else..."


Luckily we take fun very seriously:


Our job is like trying to keep a very fast and furious sports car on the road:


It was difficult not to laugh:


Giving out free hugs:


Sisters Act, Whoopi Goldberg did a fine job:


Spice Girls:


Our hands were living the life on their own:


When a wild fork appears:


Everybody's showing how many drinks have they had:


A friend with a credit card yells "It's my shout!":


I skipped the tanning salon date we had that morning:


Accidental twerk and Miley Cyrus tongue:


MUNCHIES!:




Now few chapters are missing from my camera, but not from my memory. Long story short - a few English chavs tried to flirt with my manager and I took over the translator roll between them. One moment she went to club Studio with the others and I carried on talking with *insert random British names here*. It was pretty textbook situation: Eastern European girl meets British boys, astonishes them  with her knowledge of English language (yes, I speaky) and London nightlife (what were the odds, that one of them loved Alibi? Thanks Ella and my year in London). After few vodka shots, they were even more excited, when I told them that there IS a difference between how vodkas tastes. 

Yes, Fred always knows about these things and approves with a single "LOL"on Whatsapp, when I clarify what is going on. Especially when I texted "I'm at club Hollywood and dancing to Linkin Park. Vodka is pouring and chavs are funny". Or maybe it was written like this: "I'maei hat cllubey Houllly, linkhg park yay. Gode save thye Qurnns!"
Why all the fuzz? That night I did not spent any money. Living my champagne lifestyle with Mõmmi lemonade budget.

The Hollywood for me was too much and I literally ran away. Sorry, guys.
I met up Fred and Ms.O next to Kaarli church, I apologised for my sins and we carried on with the adventures.

It was like 3am and angel Reggie fell on our path. 
The pretty boy on the left sang to "Olen alkohoolik ja ma ei karda kedagi.":



Exactly one Sam was missing to make that night even more fun!


Last time I was this drunk was when I fall down from Marie Laveau stairs and broke my foot. 
I danced well, but walked badly:


Drink up, baby, look at the stars.
maybe we'll meet again between the bars:


"The morning after I found myself tucked in bed,
with the taxi ride memory gone from my head."
At 6am they put me on a taxi and sent me home and carried on partying. 
Fred came home like 8am. I just cannot keep up with the young people:


Drinking is borrowing happiness from the next day, kids!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Vacation mode: activated. Tired of resting.

As my friend's stand-up comedy title sarcastically puts it - I'm tired of resting. The blissful two weeks of vacation took me to new levels of leisure. Fred and I managed to syncronize our days off and the weather man was on our side too. We didn't need to go abroad, since summer in Estonia is a sight for sore eyes (we were cross-eyed from the work).

My bicycle is still chick pink and China Red is favourite take-away place.
NOTHING has changed:


The vacation started with visiting my father in Pärnu. 

Here I was in denial of the strong sunlight. Everybody warned me, but I thought it was cooler to play a reddish in the evening. Fuck skin cancer, I'm beautiful.


My dad's way of testing my boyfriends - motocross. 
+34C degrees and massive muscle work lead up to Dead Fred.


Next stop - somewhere near Võrtsjärv. 
We were a bit late of finding a place to camp overnight. It got dark outside, we drove around frustrated and sleepy. Finally we found a place near the lake. It became clear after few seconds that the Army of Bugs didn't let us erect the tent, so we slept in the car. (Thank you, Tojojo for being so cosy.) Only the morning after we saw the bitching view and an outhouse(!) next to our car. 

I swam with the waterlilies: 


Next stop Otepää Adventure Park.
First time I visited such place was on my birthday, totally LOVED IT! This time Fred took me to Otepää to push my limits even further. Not trying to brag, but I was badass. 
On the picture it seems I'm four months pregnant, yet I'm pretty sure I killed it with fun:


After the "Tarzan jump" I lost my hat and my hands were numb. Also, I got seriously sunburned the day before, hence the ropes were making fun of my skin. 
Despite all the shit, it was so awesome to fly around like a superwoman:



He was laughing over how pussy I was:


Next stop: Peipsi and the Old Believers villages (sounds like Justin Bieber land).
"They see me rollin', they hatin'":


National Geographic frame in Mustvee. 
Wind from Russia blew me away:


I'm used to with my sedentary life, the active vacation took my breath away:


Lake Pepsi/Peipus.
Non salty. +25C degrees. Mild waves. He likes.
OMG, do you see the crocodile in the water??!:


These are the moments to remember. 
Happy feet:


The pleasure trailer. 5€ well spent:



Khrushchev would have been happy. 
The maize is growing just fine in Estonia:


After few days in the woods, sauna and deodorant was needed 
so we did little pitstops in our summer houses:


First Kehra:

Then Jäneda. 

Got to babysit my dog Tibi, who lives with my dad. She is 11, but full of fire.


"It's raining and you're jumping into water?
U mad, human?"


Mr. O came to visit us. 
They were dropping mad beats with massive incoming:


Next day they found out that the caps were giving them inspirations to make even radder beats.
The dog is still not giving a single fuck:


She just brightened up our week:


Bitches like hipster field pictures:


Furry coat is rather unpleasant when it is +33 outside:


"Wilma, u drivin'?
U mad?":

will be continued...

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Hiiumaa with the šššnakes

Weekend off from work is as rare as unicorns. When it does occur however, instead of jerking off at home, big plans and deeds are in order. 
So when Wyrgo kindly invited us to his grandfather's place at Hiiumaa, it was just spot on and we gladly accepted. Let's just get far far far away from the city/town (pick your equivalent pending on where you live).
Therefore that Friday evening a very cheerful bunch of people waited me after I had finished work. The car was full of meat and beer, as it should. Perrrfect.


I didn't take pictures of the long wait at the harbour (although locals said it was short, dayum ferries) and driving in the dark. The morning after, on the other hand, I went completely silly with my camera after grandfather showed me the amount of snake they had in the garden. How sick was that! Completely overwhelming considering how obsessed I am with snakes. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Steve Irwin. 


Altogether I glimpsed seven grass snakes and the rumour has it there were plenty more:


Oh, well I distracted you with my "how I went to visit my friends house" yet all you got was šššnakes (I can hear girls screaming and children crying):


Actually more importantly it was a work camp. City slickers need some environment change.
Here Wyrgo was DISAPPOINTED when the log would not split "Damn, son!":


I am a slacker all the way, the same could not be said about Mark. He works is ass off here, there and everywhere, but enjoys his pipe moments in between.
My task of the day was to put beer in the freezer and provide it to the hard workers. Very satisfied:


Gangster Tractor Rap:


Veeeeeery long sausages: 


At home we said "Bye, we are off for three days",
 we got a joking reply "Buy us quality Hiiumaa carpet, if you may".
The plot twist - we did as we were told!:


Actually the carpet store was comfortably on the way to the "Fast and Furious. Part 1239":


"Thank you team. The race was a success."
He won.


The next round. 
Fred predicts with his fingers the place he will get.:


Prediction was correct.
Spot the Stig in the background? He passed these guys so many times that we forgot to count:


Thank you, Bauhaus. My new life jacket saves my life every time I go swimming.
Can't swim and likes snakes, weeerid girl. Although my friends are ok with it:


We went birdwatching. Spotted new species: Annoying Beach Man.



Face down, ass up:


Jellyfishes, jelly?


Chop the wood until you vomit:


Pick your poison. Some took ketchup, some took beer:


Work camp together with sports camp.
Also we slept together in one room and played primitive yet fun games until sun came up.
Total summer camp of 2014:


I do not tan, I whiten:


Boys being Coco Loco Sugar loops:

 Little detour in the woods before hitting the harbour queue again:


He needs to pee-pee:


Holding hands at summer camp, because teacher told us so (actually boys are gross):


Fuck gravity;


Mom look, we are birds, we are planes, we are choo-choo trains:


I'm sure some of you will never enter Hiiumaa after all the snake and spider pictures:


"Who is this strange human?":


Harbour queue at its best. I hated boats, but it was so relieving to get on one.
Thank you, snakes. Thank you, Grandfather. Thank you, silly Nissan with 7 seats.