I'm Wilma. Girl. No dragon tattoo. I love theatre, fashion, music that makes me orgasm and taking pictures. I have split myself between three places (London-Stockholm-Tallinn), but my current hub is Tallinn. Wherever my circus goes, there's always a party. If the party does end, I watch cat videos and blog about it all. Check out my yearly summaries below to get to know me a bit better. Header: Mandel Photography

If you have any questions: hemafruu@gmail.com.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Sweden vs. Estonia (Don't hate, celebrate or at least tolerate.)

I've lived in Sweden year and a half all together now (Erasmus time + present) and I have visited this Nordic heaven a lot before moving here (after they stopped stamping passports, I lost count, but I guess 30+ times) , thus I wanted to write down some observations and thoughts I have about Sweden. Before you send me hate-mail, please note that the following is a generalisation and I am not trying to state that Estonia and Sweden are dichotomous, bad vs. good (read: I am the smartest and my opinion is the only truth).
WARNING! This is a tl;dr post.
Let's start in a random order:

1. Handsfree is not a new invention, but people here are really not afraid to use it. If you didn't know better, you would think that all Swedes are crazy, talking with themselves. For example a lady on metro can look me in the eye and ask me: "Does this foundation suit me?".  And I'm like "Damn, woman, I don't even know you!", although she was just on a phone. Awkward...

To add more randomness, this post is illustrated by photos of me in Sweden. 
Here I am 13 spending my summer holiday on Djurö, my grandfather's place. 
I kissed a boy that summer, that was neat. 
I found out that my camera has a timer and that was pretty neat too:

2. When Swedes ask you how you are doing, then they actually are interested in what's up today. It does not mean we have to talk about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, but you can be polite without actually reaching the private sphere. On the other hand, Estonians will shit their pants and run away when you even say hello to them.

Luckily or sadly my archive hard drive is in Estonia, so I cannot share a lot from blast from the past.
However here I am 16, just graduated from 9th grade and took my two besties with me to Sweden. 
My grandfather had three teenagers to handle that time, but we had more fun that should be allowed:

Life was good in 2007, picnic every day and party every evening:

3. FEMINISM! My vagina salutes that there is a political Feminist party here, I love that gender equality is so important, I feel like Beyoncé. When you're on a date, it does go without saying that both parts share the bill. Paternal leave. Gay rights. Don't hate, celebrate or at least tolerate. Menstruate with pride! (now it seems that in Estonia girls live in a dungeon).

Word "stoned" had another meaning back then:

4.  In Estonia everything is opened 24/7. Yes, rather nice when you are a customer, but rather jävla kukhora helvete how it sucks, when you work in customer service. Trust me, I'm a professional, I'm a girl, who works in retail. OK, you need condoms/tampons/painkillers middle of the night, pharmacy and gas-stations should be open. But do you really need a cute little sparkling top that says "Meow" 9PM? NO! GO HOME AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY, OR BE ALONE AND WATCH AK ON TV! ...oh, well this was aggressive. 
In Sweden clothes stores close at 7-8PM. Saturday is shortened and Sunday is like 4 hour work day. Also in Sweden there are "uncomfortable hours" where you get paid extra, like mornings, evenings and weekends. In Estonia all hours are very much comfortable...

Year 2008, I had begun to learn little Swedish, like 30 words max.
Felt like a retard, but grandfather was oh-so-happy and patient with me:

5. As I am on a roll, I shall continue with working environment. Love and hugs to H&M group, since its values don't mind country borders. In addition not being force to work 7AM on Sunday, you have to take out your holiday during June to August. A whole month! Summer warmth is holy. Also if you work 10h/20h/30h per week, you get lesser paid time off. In Estonia a store manager, who works in blood, sweat and tears has as long holiday as 10h chill-piller.

Every school holiday I spent in Sweden.
2009 and shopping until dropping, like always:

I was all alone with my pocket money and monthly ticket that took me to Stockholm every day:

6. Estonians work hard. Estonians always want to show that they are no slackers. They come to work despite falling down from a cliff day earlier or despite being in a train accident. They will come, they will work their asses off and they will not say not a single word about being in pain. In Sweden, you sneeze, you go home without any guilt, you get well and you come back without the world falling apart.

Still year 2009 and cruising between the islands:

7. Thanks to sick people being at home I haven't been infected at all, only a little cold after a little trip to Estonia.

2010. I was single and ready too mingle. 
Drank too much alcohol, wore too much silliness and wasn't that happy inside.
I discovered the second hand stores in Stockholm:

8. Swedes are really neutral and will rather avoid conflict. It seems rather lovely, but then small problems grown bigger and bigger, since they are not handled in time. Estonians are really good at giving critique, yet we really have to work on positive feedback.

Year 2010 I took Fred to Sweden and little did I know that soon he will become my boyfriend and husband material.
How can you resist the boy with sexy pants:

9. Yes for Sweden alcohol policy! Country monopoly. Opened form 10 to 17 and 11 - 15 on Saturdays and closed on Sundays. I've felt the most Swedish when I'm in a 1km queue to buy Champagne for New year's eve. Yes for limiting alcohol sales and commercials in Estonia. No for drunk driving, no for traffic deaths. Estonians have dumber ways of dying.

2010 Fred, Vilja and I came to Stockholm to see a Delphic concert. 
We were 18 and ignored the 20 age limit so much as we could:

10. Everybody works out! I feel ashamed not taking up sports. My fat ass cries chocolate.
I should...I could...I won't...

Later in 2010 Reggie, Fred, Ott and I took the booze cruise to Stockholm.
Then I first noticed Fred...
Also I tried to be a kitty cat:

11. I am the only one at work, who does not have allergies (or not that I know of), where are they hiding?

Year 2010 was a busy year. Before moving to England I took a little Stockholm trip 
and visited my favourite amusement park Gröna Lund:
12. Every third Swede has been to USA, yet every tenth one has been to Estonia.

13. There are so many grammar-nazis is Estonia (õieti vs õigesti; peale vs pärast) and overall we have very strict language rules,  but there are like one hundred different correct ways to speak Swedish. And it is so hard for me to choose the one for me. Det är så så så svårt!

14. So many beggars! So so so many beggars.

I have spent most of my summers in Gröna Lund.
I am not sure, when this is taken, but I am sure that Kalle was not Vilja's boyfriend then:

15. I earn more money than I have ever earned, but I have never been so poor.

Year 2013. My birthday. Yet again in Gröna Lund.
That time Ott lost his Gröna virginity:

16. Love it here and love it there. Two homes.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Stockhome & Karaoke

"Hello, it's me! I was wondering if after all this years you still like me...?"
Actually I just wanted to say that I bought Adele concert tickets, the Lady Diva inside me is pleased. I'm so ready for rolling in the deep. Gladly my friends and I rehearsed loud and proud singing screaming this weekend, as we cheered the neighbours up with some karaoke. But first some hometown glory and Stockhome pictures (the amount of Adele references in this post is too damn high!)

Finally the cold arrived to Stockholm,
it was about time Mr.Siberia to send his love:

A bad day to forget your mittens on the metro:

Hometown glory at its best:

She's so pretty and expensive:

And now something completely different,
Fred and I want to take a dog in the near future before marriages and baby-carriages.
Here I am scouting around:

Us again in Sollentuna judging people:

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the hairiest of them all:

Rumour has it that they are pretty good friends now:

Sometimes it is nice to escape Stockholm and slight hangover and visit grandfather.
Quality food, Netflix and Söndags mys:

Telia has a new 'Baltic and Nordic' deal,
All the billboards show the places you can call with a good price, 
all of them are classy, like Riga has a business woman sitting in the airport, 
but Estonia has this butt-naked guy and I suspect the picture is made in Sweden.:

Last but not least,
that escalated quickly, alul ei saa vedama, siis ei saa pidama:

Monday, January 11, 2016

No sleep and repeat.

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, since I have no idea where 2016 takes me.
 Fred in the other hand started going to gym every other day(!) thus soon I can grate cheese on his abs. *she is eating cookies herself while typing this* Although I'm really proud for taking up new computer games - slowly yet in heightening tempo I'm improving my skills in DOTA, Battlefield and AOE II. 
No, I'm not only sitting home and playing computer games without seeing the shower for three days...or am I? Here are some pictures  to prove that I actually have friends.

I truly been working a lot, yet I don't want to miss out all the fun. In other words I rather torture my body with 4h sleep and 9h work-shift after that, just to join my friends and watch them play boardgames and drink quality Estonian vodka. Alright, but then go home early the next day and have a long sleep, you say? No! Of course not, too easy. Just go to next party instead:

Happy birthday Vilja!:

Even though body tells you to "Abort all missions!"
Then you still ignore sleeping and go out with your colleagues and wave your boss Lady goodbye: 

Sounds like story of my life when I was 17,
but now...body needs sleep, body needs warm clothes, body needs extra care.

Sunday, January 03, 2016

The funeral of 2015

2015 is dead, long live 2016!

We were invited to Sollentuna hemmafest and had a fancy Slovak-themed dinner
there we ate potatoes that tasted like macaroni or was someone seriously trolling us...?
Never trust an Eastern European, also never let them pour you a drink!:

Look at us,
all neatly dressed up and smelling like shower and spring-flowers:

That escalated quickly:

"So, do you want my number or what?"

Maybe or maybe not there's a guy lying down on the kitchen floor.
The human mop was created:

Mr.Human was ignoring gravity.
We, Eastern Europeans tend to reject physical laws:

"Our New Year's Resolution is to buy Spotify Premium!!"

Every time I plan to make a different symbol,
but then I panic and make, yet again, a heart shape:

Few minutes left and 2015 was dead.
 Tid för skumpa!

No, I wasn't stupid enough to lid all the sparkles at the same time
and I did not burn my hand.
I am sophisticated and always keep the wisdom in.:

HEAD UUT AASTAT! (с новым годом!):

It was nice being at a house party, instead of running around at the city and queuing.
As I woke up half past six that day to go to work,
sloth inside me pushed me going home really early.

Big up for the Sollentuna family.

Friday, January 01, 2016

My year 2015 from July to December.

Happy New Year! 
I try to ignore my slight hangover and continue with the marathon post of summing up 2015 (the part I is here )

1. Island getaway to Hiiumaa Krossa.
Our friend has an annual birthday festival, without any notice 
everyone will book the ferry tickets to Hiiumaa in the first weeks of July:

The famous Hiiumaa floating dog:

No wifi. No stress:

2. Random hobbies you plan to pick up, but...don't. 
Lack of time and talent:

3.  Hagi in town.
When your bitch lives in London and you only meet twice a year,
then there's this awkward silence when it's the third date in 2015.

4. Kuru Plirr - electronic forest rave.
Nature, love and techno.
(photo credit: Helēna Spridzāne (I guess)):

The festival was safe, the giants were looking after us:
(photo credit: Heikki Leis (not sure))

Hide yo wife, hide yo kids,
turn off your phone and chill:

No summer without field pictures:

Kuru makes you fly around:

Spermatozoid and friends:

The original three stripes and ossikükk:

When the photographer is smoking while taking a picture,
no photoshop needed:

and back to town:

5. Hoes before bros.

Found my G-spot:

6. Another island getaway, this time Saaremaa.
The Tallie had a birthday:

I passed my ARK theory exam that day.
Yes, I went to Kuressaare to take one. Tunne oma kodumaad!
I was not the only one with success story, it was a great day for them too:

Golden girl:

Moscow fashion week:

The favourite places in the whole wide world - the theatre backstage.
A dollah makes us hollah:

The people you meet in the queue for toilet.

Game of Thrones the Estonian edition 
(without the rape and killing, we just stand silently and hate):

In the daytime she is Wilma,
by night she turns into Super Sheep:

7. I only take my camera out, when it's someone's birthday.
Martha threw a serious beach party for us. 
TOP 5 drunk nights of 2015:

I wish that her wishes that she wished will come true
and I wish her wishes would give her power to wish even greater wishes:

8. Then August came and went to Jõgeva to take my ARK practical exam
and passed!!!
WIPPPPPIIIII! Caps lock needed.

9. Tallinn sucks, small towns especially Haapsalu rule:

Catch the hoe,
by her toe:

My body was there,
but my mind was flying around in Haapsalu:

Tanned skins and no need for antidepressant: 

Shake that ass,
watch yourself,
shake ya ass,
show me what you're working with:

10. Let me surprise you with another birthday party.
Respect to all the mothers who pushed them out!

When he sits,
he fits:

Small boobs - it lets people get closer to your heart:

11. The most surprising meet up of 2015.
I met up my old classmate and basically my neighbour, who lives in Australia now 
and hadn't been to Estonia for years. How very vintage and fun it was:

12. Our Moving-to-Stockholm party.
Last group pictures...:

...and goodbye kisses:

Then we packed up our To-jo-jo...:

...and took a boat to Sweden:

13. Hello Stockholm:

Hello stereotypes and IKEA:

Fred started school in September:

In the same time I din't know what fruit to pick:

14. In September I went to Copenhagen once again:

We saw the Foals live.
The most powerful moment of 2015:

I moshed and I screamed and I jumped:

No Copenhagen without Aleksandra:

This time I took Fred with me to Denmark:

15. Ott and Ave missed us after three weeks apart.
They came to visit us in September:

Another drunk night was added to TOP 5 Most Intoxicated moments of 2015:

Happy new year...wait it was only September then:

16. The autumn came and scared the summer away:

First it was lovely, but then it got quite depressing as it always does:

17. Our friend was working on the Tallink ferry 
and we had occasional contact with the homeland:

18. We met up new people.
The Dutchman is one of the best find of 2015: 

19. Exploring Stockholm and killing off huge amounts of free time:

The coolest museum visit of 2015:

20. Had a true low point in my life. 
Almost moved back to Estonia:

Gladly I found new energy, stopped being sad and started to be awesome instead;

21. In October the normal daily routine was reached.
Sweden life was our life, which meant running to the alcohol store Friday before 5:

Stockholm was hell in the beginning, but step-by-step started to feel like home:

More new friends:

In the same time we didn't forget our Eastern European roots
and showed everyone how we roll:

Top 5 drunk night of 2015 got an addition.
Also known as the night, when "The guy on left drank vodka from a jam jar":

22. Then I got a job.
Huge game changer!

I was part of a new store opening:

I got really nice coworkers...:

....and started to believe in myself again:

23. Met up with old friends. 
Special year, when you meet Daniele TWICE a year!
 (I don't meet up with friends often, do I?)

Erasmus reunion from the time I lived in Stockholm in 2012/13.
Retro FM:

24. December, again Ella!
If we keep up with this tempo and meet up in 2016 as often we did in 2015 
than we might start making music again and release our LP in 2030:

Girl-talks and fashion statements:

25. November and December I worked liked the rent is due the next day.
Thanks to that I'm now actually able to pay rent.
But my co-workers and I know how to let loose,
the Christmas party was så mysigt:

26. Went to Estonia for Christmas holidays after 5 months apart:

I was pretty:

Made Game of Thrones inspired Christmas cards:

Made mirror selfies with friends:

Or usually selfies with friends:

Got kissed by dogs:

Had some vodka shots, but understood that I cannot keep up anymore:

Got a new haircut and felt relaxed and happy.

Quick questions and answers to sum up 2015 before I go-go.
1. Something that you hadn't done before? Working daily in a Swedish speaking environment and coping with it. (I've done it before, but now it's advanced level legit)
2. Which countries did you visit? Denmark, Germany, Sweden. It was such a sad year travel wise, the plan was Austria, Italy and USA. Hopefully year 2016 will be better, although my bank account does not thinks so.
3. Greatest achievement of 2015? I overcome shaking legs and sweaty hands and actually managed to get driving license. I. don't. believe. it. still. The first time I sat in the car alone without any teachers and with a legal driver status was shit fuck bloody nice! Thank you dearest friends for giving me the start-up money for it.
4. Best purchase? Game of Thrones board game.
5. Something that made you really happy? Driving license. Driving on my own and singing Adele loud and proud.
6. Saddest moment?  The moment my legs were burned and bureaucracy did not let me work in Sweden.
7. What song reminds you of 2015? GOT theme song.
8. Favourite TV show of 2015? Usually I just write Õnne 13 and Friends, of course they are still the best, but I've started to love Orange is the New Black and Game of Thrones. Oh, it was such a Game of Thrones year.
9. Favourite book of 2015? As I am working on my bachelor thesis, I would say Eesti Ajalugu VI. BEST BOOK THERE IS! Such a sad story with a happy ending. I recommend. 
10. Best record and concert 2015? Foals "What went down" and Foals concert in Copenhagen. Pure magic.
11. How do you remember year 2015? To be honest it has not been a great year, no extreme lows nor highs. 2015 was a needed step for something better, I hope.