I'm Wilma. Girl. No dragon tattoo. I love theatre, fashion, music that makes me orgasm and taking pictures. I have split myself between three places (London-Stockholm-Tallinn), but my current hub is Tallinn. Wherever my circus goes, there's always a party. If the party does end, I watch cat videos and blog about it all. Check out my yearly summaries below to get to know me a bit better. Header: Mandel Photography

If you have any questions: hemafruu@gmail.com.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Wilma Circus 2022 Recap

Spotify wrapped has nothing on me
(it has been unchanged four years in a row) 
so let's rundown this 2022 
Liivimaa Kroonika Wilma style

1. What describes 2022? 
Finally C-19 lost its importance or at least we have learned to live with it. This sounds absurd, but world has (yet again) made a U-turn, starting on the 24th of February. 

Personally, 2022 lacked extreme highs and extreme lows. The usually overflowing emotions were replaced with a fairly safe flat line. Dull much? Actually it felt rather nice after the intense rollercoaster – the graduations, marriage, travels, IVF, child birth and other game-changers. I did go through complete despair in July/August, but I'm really proud how I handled the situation. Designing the adulthood myself with a Wilma Circus way. 

2. Something that you hadn't done before? 
Never have I ever wished for someone's death. Never have I ever donated money to Armed Forces. Never have I ever been indescribably grateful for Kaja Kallas. Slava Ukraini!  
Also, did some medical procedures that made me, once again, grateful for universal social security.

3. Where did you travel? 
Only once I went abroad, but that's fine. The trip to Stockholm in May 2022 was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

4. Greatest achievement of 2022? 
These observations during my one year of being a parent:
  • I didn't love her from the moment she was born. Our bond was built over time.
  • It is possible to set myself first, our relationship with Fred second and baby comes after all that. Pebbles benefits from everything not revolving around her.
  • Life got a wonderful upgrade after 7-months old Pebbles moved into her own room (which was long overdue).
  • The amount of toxic advice from relatives and close ones is so damn high. "You better wait, soon they will..." There’s a lot of anecdotal stuff out there.
  • Fred and I have stronger relationship, which is less to do us having a baby and more that we are forced to communicate better. 
  • Sense of self. My biggest fear was losing myself in motherhood. For people without kids, parenthood seems like it’s this suddenly all-encompassing thing. Nope, I designed motherhood for myself. First and foremost I'm Wilma Circus, being a mom is huge part of my life, but it’s not all I am.
  • Utilise therapy tools. 
  • No matter what choice you’re making, it’s not the right one in somebody else’s eye. So fuck dat.
5. Best purchase? 
The Thule multi-sport trailer. Yes, this sounds boring. But that wagon takes us to places. On foot. By bicycle. WE ARE FREE AT LAST!

6. Moment that made you really happy? 
Every moment in Haapsalu, showing Pebbles around in Stockholm, discussing life with beautiful, smart and ambitious lasses at Totside Jõulud. Aaaand when Kevin Magnussen won pole position. 

7. Saddest moments?
I carry on a great deal of sadness every day until Mutin on Punn.

8. What song reminds you of 2022? 
Saudade, saudade - Portugal Eurovision 2022 entry (aaaand PA-PA-PA-PARIM SUVI!)

9. Favourite TV show in 2022? 
Aren't you tired that I write Õnne 13 and 3rd Rock from the Sun every year? Cry no more, BIG CHANGES! 
  • Starting from last year I have watched all the Formula 1 races. 
  • The long-awaited new season of Crown was utter crap – after three days of Netflix, I cancelled my subscription once again. 
  • Fred tricked me into watching House of the Dragon – and of course I'm in despair that the next season premiers in two years. 
  • Special thanks to locals – Kinoteatri MM Katarsis (the quality) and Vallaline Kaunitar (memegenerator "Only love will Terras apart")
  • But for now, Disney+ has arrived to my doorstep. Endless Golden Girls marathon is my jam.
10. Favourite book 2022? 
Go on parental leave, they said. Read tonnes of books, they said. Aside from Dave Grohl biography and tonnes of tiny people books, I got nothing. I do not recommend switching the brain off like this. 

11. Best theatre play in 2022? 
Mefisto, Drama theatre. Sadly passed on my Serafima + Bogdan tickets, would have probably loved that.

12. Best record and concert in 2022? 
Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers. Although my Spotify wrapped stays unchanged, Kendrick killed it on video and vinyl. And what are the odds that Lamar credits becoming a father as what made him "question everything the most." Bitch shares my vibe!

13. Memorable 2022 moments in the world? The good, the sad, the ugly.
  • 24th of February, the start of Russia aggression. Watching the film Estcoy-8. 
  • Attending the largest demonstration in the modern history of Estonia at Vabaduse Väljak.
  • Snake Island Русский военный корабль, иди на хуй!
  • When Karol Kuntsel was announced dead instead of Kaarel Valter.
  • Taylor Hawkins death. I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool.
  • Oscar Piasti tweet rejecting Alpine.
  • The last bastion of paper-only bureaucracy falling in Estonia – getting married and divorced moved online.
14. How do you remember year 2022?
Without extreme high and extreme lows, I will probably forget about year 2022 in the future. Only Kroonika, who used my Twitter post in their article, can bring me back to glory.

blissful beginnings

I see your usual post-Christmas southern trips to Thailand and Bali, 
and I raise you with one of most memorable moments in 2022. Our trip to the southern states, Tartu & Otepää. 
Just a very warm and fond moment (thank you, family Jackson):

Overall, January offered a lot of remedies in the motherhood department. Pebbles started to go on potty. Pebbles started her walking journey. Pebbles moved out to her own room (which was long overdue). 
I myself had already mastered the art of potty and walking, so I was acing life as well:
Slava Ukraini

This sounds absurdly cliché, but world was not the same after the 24th of February. 
Never have I ever wished for someone's death. 
Never have I ever donated money to Armed Forces. 
Never have I ever been indescribably grateful for Kaja Kallas. 
On the other had, I have always been a fond lover of Ukrainian national colours:

As I was on parental leave, my annual wrap-up is filled with Pebbles.
For example, 16th of February marked a milestone.
276 days in (above), 276 days out from the tummy (below):

Fred's birthday. Spring sprung.

Fred celebrated another 365 days around the sun, 
but it was the first trip with Pebbles by his side. 

Cutting my hair brought out the classy, sassy and a bit of smart assy:

* Illustration of "BEST PURCHASE OF 2022" – the Thule multi-sport trailer:

Strong family and friends moments

Terrible saddened that I have been such a shitty friend. Drifting away, not dropping by, 
not being there when things happen and not being there when there's a dull normal day.
Humbly grateful for those friendships that always feel like just the day before we met up and 
there's no artificial need to keep the conversation up. #koorekiht 

I have cried my fair amount of tears for being tired, for not wanting to be a mom for a split second, 
for not wanting to live in such fixed routine. Those moments are very real. 
However, I am very pleased with the choices I have made and the hetero cringe I have created:

Taking pictures every single day increases the chances of capturing 
the looking-my-best-feeling-my-best moments. No shade, but I'm one hot piece of ass:

Wilma's & Pebbles' birthday. Trip to Stockholm. cOrOnAvIrUs.

Once upon a time 19 year old Fred and 18 year old Wilma were on a cruise to Stockholm. The vodka haze, the spring time, high school was almost over – great time to get the romance boat going.
12 years later, on our daughter's first birthday, it was perfect timing to, yet again, take that boat to Stockholm. No high school, no vodka, but yes to love. 

Children-friendly environment + a place we have called home = blissful trip:

Travelling around and showing Pebbles the world,
that is one of the best aspects of having a kid: 

May = the only time we travelled abroad.
May = the first time we got COVID.
May = Pebbles and I have birthdays, true May flowers:

Midsummer in Haapsalu. Heatwave begins.

Ti-U and I-An share their magical castle with us in the land of Far Far Away Haapsalu.
We had a 34°C of tropical Midsummer Festival:

The more time we spend in Haapsalu,
the more we understand how we need a summer cottage of our own:
(this comes from a person, who is currently unemployed and without parental benefits, yay):

Overall it was a lot of fresh air and plenty of warm visits:

Two weddings. Special birthday. Heartwarming reunions. End of worklife.

We received not one, but two wedding invitations in 2022. 
One started the month, the other one ended the month. And they lived happily ever after.

Me and my girls at Ilveste pidu

I'll cancel my trips. I'll leave all weddings. I'll leave early from funerals.

Accidentally found these gems and kept them close:

The lowest of 2022. The support of support system.

I have noticed the correlation between the amount of times I have been to Haapsalu 
and the well-being of my mental health.

Life has given me shit and keeps on giving me shit.
My support system is the reason I survive it all:

Wedding anniversary in Haapsalu.

5 divorce-free years 
The relationship and the annual tradition to spend the anniversary in Haapsalu are going strong:

The last days of summer with 30°C,
the day after the temperature dropped 15 degrees and Pebbles was shocked:

Proper IKEA opened in Estonia, Queen Elizabeth died.
The world was shaken, but I still found time to do random photoshoots:

Slowing down to hibernate. 

Reunited with former bloggers Castle of Fashion and somewhatslightlydazed. 
Every reunion is golden, so feel free to call, send SMS or snail mail me:

The kindergarten journey began for Pebbles, I had a birthmark surgical removal,
 Fred and I had several date nights alone. Small wins, even when not much was happening:

Start of kindergarten. End of parental benefit (Pebbles enters the 18 months of age).

Not trying to paint a false picture that having a baby is all glitz and glamour.
Instead I like to emphasise that there's never a wrong time or hair too dirty to have a random photoshoot:

Mostly I was under my blanket and not leaving my house,
but when I dit crawl out, I was fabulous:

Planning to return to work. Totside jõulud

Sad that my birthday party has been cancelled several years in a row. Sad that few years of Totside Jõulud went missing. One thing's for sure, may life be crazy, may times be hard, but traditions are here to stay.

This year glamour was excessively overflowing and outstanding powerpoint presentations were made – 

I'm not going to pretend to be a better person in 2023. 
But I do promise myself to turn "Ma mõtlen tihti su peale" into a phone call or 
a chat to book a meet-up. Life is very schedule-based, but it can be done.
Thank you for hanging with me virtually and in real life in 2022.


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