I'm Wilma. Girl. No dragon tattoo. I love theatre, fashion, music that makes me orgasm and taking pictures. I have split myself between three places (London-Stockholm-Tallinn), but my current hub is Tallinn. Wherever my circus goes, there's always a party. If the party does end, I watch cat videos and blog about it all. Check out my yearly summaries below to get to know me a bit better. Header: Mandel Photography

If you have any questions: hemafruu@gmail.com.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Roadtrip in Estonia. KAS TÕESTI ON MU KODUMAA NII ILUS VÄ?!

For some years now Fred and I have booked tickets to warmer climate during our summer holiday (Italy I, II, III, IV;  Greece I, IICroatia). But this year bitches were too occupied with graduating that planning a trip was not on the agenda.  

Instead we left our sunscreen and bikinis at home and went on a roadtrip to see what Estonia has to offer. We did not get tanned, but it actually was pretty fun.

Sillamäe – Narva – RMK Karjamaa – Mustvee – Alatskivi – Andre Juustufarm (Tartumaa) – Vana-Antsla – Antsla – RMK Ähijärve – Võru – Päka – Värska – Leevi – Sänna – Valga – Valka – RMK Soontaga

The Estonian summer in one picture:



First stop was Sillamäe, closed town during Soviet era.
It's a pearl of 1950s architecture, where apartments cost 13 900 € (buy now):


Don't forget that Ida-Virumaa is amazing!
It's a pity that those two doofoses did not learn any Russian at school:


Next stop was Narva, the most eastern town in Estonia.
From 4th grade until 9th grade I visited Narva ridiculous amounts, since every class trip took us here and after that straight A students got a free trip to the exact same location. Probably the prices were lower for Ida-Virumaa, since nobody wanted to come here. 
I am pretty proud that my school showed how silly "the fear of east" is:


Once I went to Moscow with my ex boyfriend and I cheated him with another guy there.
Fred is not that keen to take a trip to Russia together:


They have best bicycle roads in Narva 
(and Russia looks pretty basic on the other side):


Swedish lions and Estonian lioness:


The taste of Mother Russia has not disappeared and is always watching: 


The few buildings that survived WWII airstrikes are now da bomb:


Next stop was RMK Karjamaa for food and sleep.
Did anyone order garlic bread and ma-ca-ma-ca-roni?


The lake Peipus, two chairs and him, the sweet sight for horny eyes:


Sorry that all the romance gets lost in my sarcasm:


Next stop was Mustvee, where I had not been for 7 days.
The fish and chips straight from Peipus:


He is wondering...


...why did we stay in Estonia...


...when summer weather here is like baby's asshole – you never know what comes out of it:


Next stop was Alatskivi (the copy of Balmoral) castle.
The is how it looks on the picture:


And this is the reality:


The roses are red and violets are dead,
the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head:


The unplanned next stop was Andre Juustufarm.
Since Pärna has given their cheese the highest review, we had to stop by:


Few cheese bites and petting later we were ready to continue our journey:


Next stop was Vana-Antsla, where we saw the play "Praegu pole aega armastamiseks" (I do recommend). 
After that it was dark and we got lost in the forest, so we slept at a random fisherman's yard:


At 5AM the fisherman found us sleeping there, 
but he was kind enough to let us have our beauty sleep:


I love him like
Latrex 335 loves water:


Next stop was Võru to charge our tummies and phone batteries:


I see your Santorini tanned body and raise you Estonian human reflector at a random forest:


Estonia might be pitch-black 8 months straight,
but the rest 4 months are rather enjoyable:


This is what greatest honey is made of:


As I am peeing in the woods, I try to remember how water closet toilet felt like:


Next stop was Päka AirBnb (link):


We upgraded our tent into a proper forest cabin.
No electricity (the thunder took it away), no water, no problem:


That moment when you really don't care about your daily problems that were left in the capital.
PEACE OUT!:


The most beautiful place to poop in:


A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh:


Bye, bye five-star hotel:


Next stop was Värska Tsäimaja.
Proper Seto breakfast at its finest:


Next stop was random farm.
At first we wanted to horseback ride, but weather was only good enough for cuddles
(which was even better):


This is the best boyband I have ever met,
they repeated all my singing:


Meet Mr. Tabula Rasa:


The moment when these three remind you Jüri Ratas, Helir-Valdor Seeder and Mart Helme:


Then the owner took us to the forest and left us all alone with horses:


The horse on the right was the pack leader 
and we had to read from her ears if we should run or not:


So cool, yet I shat my pants:


*BOOP*:


Probably living the best life at that very moment:


I have not touched anything softer than those noses:


The moment she heard that my toothbrush battery had died that morning.
"STUUUPID CITY SKANKS":


This was the best (and cheapest) therapy I have ever had:


Thank you for always laughing at my bad jokes:


I have always loved Foals:


Horse Mati really liked me or was thinking 
"WHERE IS DA CARRRROOTT??"


Horses are super big scary animals,
but this turned out to be the peak of our travels:


Next stop was Sänna AirBnb (link).


ELECTRICITY! RUNNING WARM WATER! WATER CLOSET!
aka paradise:


I found my inner Dr. Dolittle that day:


Sänna did not have a guard dog, since they had three fierce geese
(one of the was a duck, but don't tell him that):


Embrace yourselves, duck pictures are coming:


Clean clothes, warm shower and nine hour sleep later
I was purring like a kitten with twisted bra strap:


Not stressed, only desserts:


Then it was time to say goodbye to my gang:


"YU LIIIVING OOLREDI?"


Our final stop was RMK Soontaga house, where we met our friends.
More about that magical place in the next blog chapter.


KAS TÕESTI ON MU KODUMAA NII ILUS VÄ?!

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