I'm Wilma. Girl. No dragon tattoo. I love theatre, fashion, music that makes me orgasm and taking pictures. I have split myself between three places (London-Stockholm-Tallinn), but my current hub is Tallinn. Wherever my circus goes, there's always a party. If the party does end, I watch cat videos and blog about it all. Check out my yearly summaries below to get to know me a bit better. Header: Mandel Photography

If you have any questions: hemafruu@gmail.com.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019


For some years now Fred and I have booked tickets to warmer climate during our summer holiday (Italy I, II, III, IV;  Greece I, IICroatia). But this year bitches were too occupied with graduating that planning a trip was not on the agenda.  

Instead we left our sunscreen and bikinis at home and went on a roadtrip to see what Estonia has to offer. We did not get tanned, but it actually was pretty fun.

Sillamäe – Narva – RMK Karjamaa – Mustvee – Alatskivi – Andre Juustufarm (Tartumaa) – Vana-Antsla – Antsla – RMK Ähijärve – Võru – Päka – Värska – Leevi – Sänna – Valga – Valka – RMK Soontaga

The Estonian summer in one picture:

First stop was Sillamäe, closed town during Soviet era.
It's a pearl of 1950s architecture, where apartments cost 13 900 € (buy now):

Don't forget that Ida-Virumaa is amazing!
It's a pity that those two doofoses did not learn any Russian at school:

Next stop was Narva, the most eastern town in Estonia.
From 4th grade until 9th grade I visited Narva ridiculous amounts, since every class trip took us here and after that straight A students got a free trip to the exact same location. Probably the prices were lower for Ida-Virumaa, since nobody wanted to come here. 
I am pretty proud that my school showed how silly "the fear of east" is:

Once I went to Moscow with my ex boyfriend and I cheated him with another guy there.
Fred is not that keen to take a trip to Russia together:

They have best bicycle roads in Narva 
(and Russia looks pretty basic on the other side):

Swedish lions and Estonian lioness:

The taste of Mother Russia has not disappeared and is always watching: 

The few buildings that survived WWII airstrikes are now da bomb:

Next stop was RMK Karjamaa for food and sleep.
Did anyone order garlic bread and ma-ca-ma-ca-roni?

The lake Peipus, two chairs and him, the sweet sight for horny eyes:

Sorry that all the romance gets lost in my sarcasm:

Next stop was Mustvee, where I had not been for 7 days.
The fish and chips straight from Peipus:

He is wondering...

...why did we stay in Estonia...

...when summer weather here is like baby's asshole – you never know what comes out of it:

Next stop was Alatskivi (the copy of Balmoral) castle.
The is how it looks on the picture:

And this is the reality:

The roses are red and violets are dead,
the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head:

The unplanned next stop was Andre Juustufarm.
Since Pärna has given their cheese the highest review, we had to stop by:

Few cheese bites and petting later we were ready to continue our journey:

Next stop was Vana-Antsla, where we saw the play "Praegu pole aega armastamiseks" (I do recommend). 
After that it was dark and we got lost in the forest, so we slept at a random fisherman's yard:

At 5AM the fisherman found us sleeping there, 
but he was kind enough to let us have our beauty sleep:

I love him like
Latrex 335 loves water:

Next stop was Võru to charge our tummies and phone batteries:

I see your Santorini tanned body and raise you Estonian human reflector at a random forest:

Estonia might be pitch-black 8 months straight,
but the rest 4 months are rather enjoyable:

This is what greatest honey is made of:

As I am peeing in the woods, I try to remember how water closet toilet felt like:

Next stop was Päka AirBnb (link):

We upgraded our tent into a proper forest cabin.
No electricity (the thunder took it away), no water, no problem:

That moment when you really don't care about your daily problems that were left in the capital.

The most beautiful place to poop in:

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh:

Bye, bye five-star hotel:

Next stop was Värska Tsäimaja.
Proper Seto breakfast at its finest:

Next stop was random farm.
At first we wanted to horseback ride, but weather was only good enough for cuddles
(which was even better):

This is the best boyband I have ever met,
they repeated all my singing:

Meet Mr. Tabula Rasa:

The moment when these three remind you Jüri Ratas, Helir-Valdor Seeder and Mart Helme:

Then the owner took us to the forest and left us all alone with horses:

The horse on the right was the pack leader 
and we had to read from her ears if we should run or not:

So cool, yet I shat my pants:


Probably living the best life at that very moment:

I have not touched anything softer than those noses:

The moment she heard that my toothbrush battery had died that morning.

This was the best (and cheapest) therapy I have ever had:

Thank you for always laughing at my bad jokes:

I have always loved Foals:

Horse Mati really liked me or was thinking 

Horses are super big scary animals,
but this turned out to be the peak of our travels:

Next stop was Sänna AirBnb (link).

aka paradise:

I found my inner Dr. Dolittle that day:

Sänna did not have a guard dog, since they had three fierce geese
(one of the was a duck, but don't tell him that):

Embrace yourselves, duck pictures are coming:

Clean clothes, warm shower and nine hour sleep later
I was purring like a kitten with twisted bra strap:

Not stressed, only desserts:

Then it was time to say goodbye to my gang:


Our final stop was RMK Soontaga house, where we met our friends.
More about that magical place in the next blog chapter.


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